Trippy Bella
by EdwardIsMyLover
Summary: Mike drugs Bella at a party, but the Cullens rescue her. This is a night at the Cullens with an undertheinfluence Bella as they try to keep her out of anything lifethreatening. How will they fare?
1. Advil

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me. Nor its characters. **

**AN: Hokay. So this is just some little thing I made if Bella was high. Not like her at all, but it will be funny, hopefully. This one is only the beginning, the actual chaos will start at the end of this one and onto the next chapters. **

Chapter 1 – Advil

Jessica walked up to me as I was walking to my table with Edward. She looked happy, but also a little nervous. Probably because of Edward; I do have to agree it is very easy to be intimidated by him. He's just so perfect.

She stopped in front of me with a smile, "Hey Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to go to Mike's party this weekend. You'll have a blast. I promise."

I looked to Edward, then back to her. I didn't want to sound rude but I'd really rather stay with Edward than go to some stupid party. "I don't know…" I said guiltily.

"Go ahead, Bella. I'm going camping this weekend anyway." Edward said, though he obviously meant hunting, and not camping.

"Great! I'll see you there. It's at Mike's on Saturday at 9pm." She said as she turned and walked away after waving brightly to me.

I groaned; I don't really like parties. "Bella, you hardly ever do anything human. Just do this so I don't feel guiltier for taking away your life."

I smiled and looked at him. "You don't take away from my life. You make it better. Besides I wouldn't go to the things even if I didn't know you."

"It could be fun," he reasoned.

I sighed. I'd do it for him because no matter how much I tried to convince him, he'd still blame himself.

"Fine. I'll go."

He smiled and we sat down at our table next to Alice.

Edward had just dropped me off at the party. It was 9:15, and he was hunting with Esme. Carlisle had to work a night shift, and the rest of the Cullens were home because they had already fed and were obviously not invited to the party. Edward only had to go now because he had to feed more often when he's around me. I probably single handedly lowered the amount of animals in the Forks area.

I walked up towards the door and I could hear music blasting. It was hip hop and R&B which I did not particularly enjoy all too much. Some songs were okay but most were so distasteful. I knocked, and Mike opened the door.

"Hi Bella! I'm glad you could make it. Come on in." He said motioning inside his house.

I was guessing his parents were away because inside seemed pretty crazy. It seemed like a third of the school was here. Half the people were dancing and half were sitting down on the side. The people were spread between the living room, family room and dining room. It was dark and flashing because there was a strobe light. There were streamers hanging off things and I could smell alcohol. I decided that I wouldn't have any because Edward was sure to smell it off my breath. Though he was the one who sent me here, but my scent probably drowned out the smell of it when I was in his car.

I walked around awkwardly, trying to find somewhere to sit and pass the time. I saw a chair and b-lined for it. When I was almost there someone bumped into me and I fell and hit my head on a coffee table. I heard them mutter a sorry but got no other apologies. I picked myself up, rubbing my head and went to sit on the chair.

My head hurt and I could feel a dull throbbing on the side of it.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a male voice ask. I didn't look up to see who it was, though it sounded a lot like Mike.

"I just have a headache that's all." I muttered, looking at the ground.

"Hold on, I'll be right back." I just nodded.

A few seconds later I felt someone put a hand on my knee and I shot my eyes up to see who it was. It was indeed Mike, with a glass of water and a tablet between his fingers. It didn't look like Tylenol or anything.

"What's that?" I asked, I thought he'd get me something for my head.

He looked away nervously and cleared his throat. "Its, uh, Advil." He said and shoved it and the glass to me.

"Oh." Was all I said. It certainly didn't look like Advil but their always coming out with new stuff like gels and coated stuff, so I accepted it and swallowed. I thanked him and he left with the glass.

I sat there and hoped it would go away soon, it was beginning to really hurt, and the loud music didn't help. After about 5 minutes, as I was sitting it did start to go away, but so did my feeling in my arms and legs. I vaguely wondered why that was, but then was sidetracked by the floor coming up to say hello to me.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Floor." I called to him. Soon after, he started walking away from me and I reached out to pull him back but he had already gotten too far. "Nooo," I whined after my friend.

"Come on Bella, lets get you some fresh air," I head a masculine voice say.

I was being carried by someone and I did not like it so I started to wiggle around to break free of my captor. It suddenly turned into a life or death situation and I started to bite him on shoulder. "BLAHH, Let me go you fiend!" I screamed.

"OW!" Someone blurted out in pain as I bit into his shoulder.

I was set down and I tried to crawl away but was grabbed by the waist. I looked up to see who was grabbing me but saw a bunny. It looked so cute with its floppy ears. I giggled and started to pet its face. Then it smiled at me and came closer. Its cheeks looked so rosy I just wanted to pinch them, so I pinched them as it got closer to my face. "Aren't you a cute bunnywunny." I said, wiggling its face back and forth with its cheeks still in my grasp. It removed my hands and I pouted. Then its lips were suddenly on mine and my eyes opened wide in shock.

The cute bunny suddenly morphed into a death dealer right before my eyes. I pushed it away, frightened. I then saw all of its little bunny servants hop around me, circling and trapping me. I backed up against the wall. This was it; I was going to die from an army of killer rabbits.

I suddenly remembered the killer rabbit that was underestimated in Monty Python's Holy Grail. I burst out laughing as I remembered this particular film. The rabbits stopped advancing on me and froze, curious as to why I was laughing. I had to agree with my bunny attackers. I was about to die and yet I was doubled over laughing. Oh my, oh my.

I looked around frantically trying to find an escape while the bunnies were sidetracked with my sudden laughing spurt. I could see eyes everywhere. There was no escape. I started to panic, but then saw the most wonderful sight in the world.

A band of purple penguins was gallantly making their way over to me, fighting off the rabbit fiends.

**AN: And so it begins. It was acid he gave Bella, in tablet form. And acid lasts for like up to like 10 hours or more soo, the journey has only begun. Mwuahahaha. Cullens, you are in for one trip! OR rather Bella is in for a trip. Acid trip that is! Ahahahaha. Yay. I love being high. **


	2. Oh My, Bella

_Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or new moon. _

_AN: _**I did this out of boredom, I'm sorry if you don't find it interesting because I'm only writing them for fun. It will be far from perfect and probably deleted after a while if no one likes it**_. Review if you do though or I'll never know and it will be deleted. I have a hat fetish. _

Chapter 2- Oh My, Bella. 

Alice's Point Of View:

I was sitting on my bed with Jasper. He was looking at his laptop at some research he'd done while I watched him. Suddenly I felt the strange sensation I always get when I have a vision come on. And like so many times before it took me before I could react to it.

_I saw Mike pick up a very out of it looking Bella. Suddenly she screamed, "BLAH, let me go you fiend!" And pounded on his back. She was getting frustrated so she bit him, which did hurt him, a lot, it seemed. Yeah, go Bella! I thought. _

_Mike set her down and rubbed his shoulder where Bella had bitten him. He grabbed her by the waist and when she looked at him she smiled. What the hell? I thought. She started giggling and I was thoroughly confused now. Mike was trying to abduct her and she was giggling? Mike got closer but Bella seemed to hardly notice. She grabbed his cheeks and moved his face back and forth with her hands and said, "Aren't you a cute bunnywunny." She had clearly gone to lala land._

_Mike pulled out of her grasp then kissed her. I gasped in shock at the sight before me. Suddenly thought, much to my relief Bella pushed his head away, clearly frightened now. Thank god she was in her right mind enough to do that. She backed up against a wall, but soon once again brought me to think her insane by giggling. She seemed to catch herself though, and looked around at an empty yard in panic. What did she see that was so frightening there? Mike was in the other direction!_

The vision finally stopped and I sat there in shock on the bed, with Jasper holding me and asking what happened. In truth I wasn't quite sure what had happened. I looked at him with confused eyes. I wasn't sure what happened but I did know we had to get over to Mike's and help Bella, whatever was going on.

"We have to get to Mike's," I said as I hopped off the bed and out of Jaspers grasp. I looked back at him to see if he was coming, but he just looked at me questioningly. "It's about Bella," His eyes got wide and he got off the bed to follow me.

"We have to get Edward," I said as we were going down the stairs.

"He's gone hunting," Emmett said from somewhere in the living room. "Why?" He asked.

I stopped at the bottom on the stairs and turned to him to explain, "Something happened to Bella at Mike's party. I'm not sure what but it's not good. And Mike tried to…" What did he try to do? "Well, I did see him try to kiss her."

His eyes got wide then turned into slits at this and he leaped off the couch. "THAT BASTARD!" he shouted. He really was just like an overprotective brother to Bella. I was expecting this reaction from him but then Rose really shocked me.

"That horny, stupid, little human, he is going to pay." She said as she leapt off the couch to Emmett's side. I mean, I knew she warmed up a little to Bella, after the Italy incident but I never knew she was so protective. Especially of a human she until recently claimed she hated. The way Bella risked her life for Edward must have brought a new light to Bella for her.

The three of us stood there staring at her for a moment, surprised at this, but soon recovered. "Okay, let's go kick some human ass." Emmett said as he raised his fist in the air.

With that we were off running in the forest to Mike's house.

We could hear the music and smell the alcohol a mile away. Soon we were in the trees before the clearing of Mike's backyard. We slowed to a human walking pace and stepped out of the trees. I saw Bella in the same position as just before my vision ended. When her eyes saw us walking towards her, her eyes showed amazement and thankfulness.

I saw Mike in the corner, advancing on Bella again, having not seen us because we were so quiet. I was about to go slap Mike but Emmett got to him before I did.

"Newton!" Emmett shouted at Mike from right behind him. Mike turned in fright and shock at the sudden thunderous voice. His eyes grew even wider in fear as he saw the bulky figure of Emmett standing over him.

I rushed to Bella, to see if she was alright, though I knew she had no bad injuries. She looked up at me in awe, like seeing me for the first time. As I bent closer she suddenly raised her hand to her temple in a salute, "My triumphant savior." She said, still in awe. I laughed at her comment but then froze when an odd smell reached my nose. I could smell…drugs. LSD. Oh my god, it was coming from Bella. I knew humans couldn't smell acid, but our improved sense made it so we could, up close. I looked to Bella, and the events in my vision fell into place.

I heard Emmett angrily say, "What the hell are you doing Newton."

"N-n-nothing," he stuttered. I heard a rock hard fist connect with human body and smack against the wall. Then hurried, heavy footsteps scramble to get away. I knew Emmett had been holding back, or I wouldn't have heard footsteps, because dead boys can't walk.

Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett came to my side to look at Bella. "He drugged her," I explained. I heard them all gasp.

"With what?" Jasper asked from his crouching position behind me. I could tell he was trying hard to hold back on his bloodlust, for Bella.

"Acid. I believe." I said almost relieved, although acid was not good, it wasn't too bad or addictive. It did its effect then went away without addiction or anything too horribly bad.

They too seemed to share my opinion as I heard them let out sigh of relief. "We should get her to the house." Emmett said and bent down to pick her up. Her eyelids suddenly flew open and she flailed her arms about. "GREAT GOOGELY MOOGELY!" She cried as she was lifted.

I nearly doubled over in laughter. I had seen that episode of Drawn Together, and she did a perfect impression of it, and the words just sounded so funny. I knew it was not a laughing time, but I couldn't help it. I saw and heard Emmett burst into big booms of laughter at Bella's outburst as well. Rosalie and Jasper were more composed butt hey had huge smiles of amusement on as we started to run home.

Emmett's Point Of View:

"GREAT GOOGLEY MOOGELY!" Bella screamed as I picked her up. I nearly dropped her with my laughing fits. It was positively the funniest thing I had heard ever heard in my entire life, which was abnormally long. It was even greater than on the TV show! I heard Alice giggling too as we ran home.

Bella was squirming all the way there and sometimes she would get wide eyed and scream randomly at nothing, but I just found it amusing at her struggles to get free. She also kept on making these faces between confusion and amazement as we ran that made me uncertain if I would not get through this night with one moment to catch my breath from laughing.

I was grateful as we made it up the steps and through the door to our home because as amusing as she was, the constant squirm was getting a teensy bit aggravating. We all went into the living room and I set her down on the couch, which she immediately squirmed out of and landed on the floor with a thump. She continued to squirm and wiggle on the floor, she kind of looked like a worm, and she had her eyes wide and cheeks sucked in, like a fish face. When she did this we all burst out laughing, even Rosalie and Jasper.

Bella continued to wiggle and squirm until we finally stopped laughing and Alice got on the floor and held her in one place. She stopped immediately and her eyes closed, she looked in concentration. After a minute of this, she opened her eyes, which looked glazed over. "ALICE!" She suddenly yelped, causing Alice to let go of her. "OH MY GOD, ALICE YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE! THE LIZARD QUEEN IS COMING! Run! SAVE YOURSELF, IM ALREADY A GONER! SEE, MY TAIL! IM ALREADY TURNING INTO ONE! Oh god, what will Edward think of dating a lizard?" She screeched.

We all just sat there in silence, Alice kneeling; then again, we all burst out laughing. When we opened our eyes she was looking at us with a pained expression on her face. I was confused. I could tell even Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were confused, by the looks on their faces.

Bella slumped her shoulders and shakily stood up, "Oh I see how it is." She said, pointing at us. We just sat there and watched the event unfold, knowing she would probably forget anyway. "You just sit there and mock the human, with all your super-human abilities, you just have to be so superior, and you know what. I am super human abilities to." She said with conviction. Some of her words were mixed up but we could unscramble them pretty fast with our 'super-brains' as trippy Bella would say it. We just watched her so she wouldn't try to jump out of a window with thinking she was batman or something.

Suddenly she ran, quite slowly and wobbly of to a couch that none of us occupied and whipped off a blanket. She turned her back to us and put the blanket over her shoulder. She hunched over and did something with her hands. When she turned around she had tied the blanket around her neck and a cape and took off around the room.

She was running around with her arms spread out like a bird, the cape whipping in the slight breeze she made. She started to sing then. "Nanananana, Bellavee, v for vampire. YAYE." She ended with a ghetto like voice. Okay now we burst out laughing again. Wow, this was going to be the funniest night of my life. Like watching some comedy, only better, because Bella is better and has already proved to be the funniest human ever in existence.

She turned for the door and opened it. Alice was the first up, as we couldn't let her go out by herself, she'd surely be killed. Rosalie, Jasper and I followed Alice outside, expecting her to already have her and bringing her in but when we got outside there was no Bella and Alice had a worried look on. "Where is she Alice?" Jasper asked.

"I, I don't know. I came out and I didn't see her. She couldn't have gotten away THAT fast." She said anxiously. Suddenly she stopped and was frozen. Vision. "Oh my god, Edward will kill us if we don't find her; he gets back in 10 minutes."

With that we broke apart and started looking, we would meet back in five.

In five minutes neither of us had found her or any trace she had been anywhere in our huge lawn. We gathered back just outside the door, glancing at each other for any sign that anyone found anything.

"Fuck," I cursed, "Why Bella, WHY?" I yelled and fell to my knees. That's when we heard giggling coming from the roof. I looked up in blatant disbelief. No, she couldn't be on the roof. Could she? I saw a figure with a cape lean over the edge with a wicked smile on. Yes, yes she could.

Before any of could even catch up to how Bella had gotten on the roof, she had run across the ledge to a few meters away from where were standing and jumped. My brain caught up with me when she was a centimeters away from the ground. Too late, I thought grimly as I lunged. Before I could get to her, she hit the ground. I expected to hear a scream, or the crack of a broken neck, but the sight before me surprised me beyond belief. Bella, clumsy Bella had just jumped off a three story house and landed on her feet! She was crouched down, with one hand on the ground and the other in the air behind her. We all stood there in pure and utter shock again.

She jumped up quickly, turned around and held the cape across her face, covering up to her nose, resembling a stereotypical vampire. "I vant to suck your blauhd." She said with a perfect Transylvanian accent. She then proceeded to run around the yard, flapping her cape as she went.

"Uh…" Alice was the first to speak. "Bella, I think we should go inside." Jasper, Rosalie and I were still mentally trying to figure out how she had not died from jumping off the roof.

Suddenly she stopped running around. "No, I do not think it would be very good. The giant bologna slice is still in that house. He'd probably eat you all. But never fear.; I will destroy it." She thrust her hand into the air, spun around three times and made a popping sound with her mouth then ran into the house.

We all ran in, thankful atleast to have her in the house. Then we heard the most frightening sound of all. Three sets of rushed footsteps coming towards the house. One set of those would be Edwards. We all froze and looked at each other. He would kill us, or Mike Newton at the very least. Simultaneously we turned back to Bella.

She was moving her hips in a circle and saying "Bring it around town." In a dragged out voice, identical to Spongebob Squarepants.

A few moments later, Bella still copying Spongebob, the door burst open and a very livid Edward broke through. Jasper, Rosalie and I started to back away, towards the stairs.

"It wasn't us! Mike Newton did it!" Rosalie said in panic.

"Did WHAT exactly?" He said, looking to Bella, still doing her Spongebob thing.

"UH, he drugged her, he was about to rape her but we got there before he could do anything." I explained, maybe if he killed Mike Newton he'd forget about us. Besides, we SAVED her.

His eyes widened in rage and shock and his hand started to shake.

"OH MY GOD!" Bella suddenly gasped. "ITS, IT'S RICHARD SIMMONS" She said as she danced around in a circle. "Tell me your fitness secrets, oh fashionable one."

Edward suddenly lost all anger, and replaced with a disbelieving expression. Alice started to giggle and we all followed through.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Edward roared just as Carlisle and Esme stepped in.

"What's not funny?" Carlisle asked, not having taken notice to Bella punching the air.

"Mike Newton drugged Bella and now she's all crazy." I explained.

His eyes fell upon Bella and widened. Esme did the same. "That's not funny at all," she scolded. But they couldn't hide the smirk as Bella started to run around the room, bringing her knees as high as they would go.

Suddenly she stopped and stared wide eyed at Edward. We thought maybe she'd grasped reality but it was not happening. She walked up to Edward cautiously and he had a wary expression on.

Edward's Point Of View:

She slowly walked up to me and I thought maybe being like this would finally make her run away screaming. Once she was only feet from me she squealed and poked me in the stomach and then the forehead. "Pillsbury Dills boy Toaster Strudel!" She screamed. My entire family started to laugh. How could they! Bella was obviously not in her right mind and they were laughing at her!

I couldn't scold them because I was yanked forward very forcefully. At first I thought it was one of my family because it was so strong but when I looked it was Bella and she was pulling me upstairs. "Bella, honey? Where are we going?" I asked lightly, not wanting to set her off again. She had a loud voice when she wanted to.

She suddenly stopped to look at me at the top of the stairs. "Edward," I was grateful she atleast recognized me, "I have a hat fetish. Put on a hat." She said it so seriously I choked on my laughter.

"Bella, I don't think-" I started but was but off but her releasing my hand and running towards the stairs at full speed.. "BELLA!" She'd crack her head open.

She didn't slow down. Instead she jumped at the top. I would have had a heart attack if I could. Instead of landing on her head like I thought she would though when I saw her flip, she landed perfectly straight on her hands. My mouth dropped open and she did cartwheels down the staircase, hitting the middle of each step precisely, not slipping.

When she reached the bottom she looked up to me. "Your turn!" I rushed down the stairs, not bothering to do anything like she had, as I was still in shock and I need to see if maybe a part of her brain had been damaged and pinched out her clumsiness though, as going through medical school multiple times I knew that impossible.

I hugged her tightly to me, not wanting her to move until she was sobered up. She buried her head in my chest and breathed in deeply. I thought we could stay like this for a while until I felt a sensation in my lower regions. My head snapped down to see her grabbing…me.

Emmett was on the floor laughing and everyone else who was still standing in the living room, to see her antics burst out laughing too. I reached down to remove her hand from my…pants. Not that I didn't like, of course I did but I was very close to taking her up my bedroom and… I couldn't do that. One she wouldn't remember or particularly know what was going on and I would break her.

"Bella, hands off." I felt like talking to a pre-schooler.

Her hand released its pressure on my sensitive area. Then it slapped me across the face as she struggled out of my grip. I released her quickly, and my face stung. I…WHAT?

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen." She said, sounding appalled. I was always one step behind her on these mood swings. "How dare you even…" She then walked into the kitchen. Well, actually she did a the Russian dance were you crouch down and lift your legs up with your arms crossed over your chest.

I looked at much watch. LSD lasts 9-12 hours. Great. This would be one long night.

_AN: With the whole roof & stairs acrobat thing, Bella is actually a super-human but it will only come out on her 18th birthday (like my other story-READ IT) but the drugs freed her mind up and it let it loose a little early. _**Pleaseee review or I won't do anymore and delete it because I won't know if anyone likes it. **


	3. Edward's Cherries

Disclaimer: I do NAWT own Twilight or New Moon (said like Borat) Haha. I love Borat.

AN: YAY, I'm so glad you like it . Here's the next chapter! Don't be afraid to give me ideas! I think I'm going to keep it in Edward's point of view for a while. I like it there, though I also like writing in Emmett's.

Chapter 3 –Edward's Cherries

Edward's Point Of View:

We followed Bella into the kitchen to make sure she didn't get her hands in a blender or anything. I ran through the door and stopped in my tracks.

No, it wasn't that she was dancing around and doing anything utterly insane. No. She was sitting down, eating a peanut butter sandwich.

She looked up to us and smiled. "Heyy, WAZZZZUUP?" Dammit.

"Not much, Bella. WAZZZUP WIT CHU?" Emmett called from behind me. I whipped around. How could he egg her on? I smacked him in the head and turned back to see an empty kitchen.

What… "BELLA?"

"Yes?" came a small voice from the pantry. I sighed, relieved I atleast knew where she was. But then the fridge door opened slightly and out popped her head. We all stared at her in dumbfounded confusion and she slammed the door shut.

I walked up to the fridge so I could catch her but when I opened it all I saw was food. I would have fainted if I could. How…

"Edward what are you doing in the fridge? You don't eat food." I spun around. She was in the living room.

She couldn't…my family was standing at the only entrance to there!

Alice ran towards her and hugged her, or maybe acting as a straight jacket. I wasn't sure, nor did I care at the moment.

"I LOVE YOU ENRICO!" She wailed and threw her arms around Alice as well.

I froze again. Enrico? ENRICO? Who the FUCK is Enrico? Calm down Edward; you're over reacting. You're just stressed. Maybe he's a childhood friend? I heard drugs bring out memories? I made a metal note to ask her when she's sobered up.

Alice let go of her and looked Bella in the face cautiously. She regretted as soon as Bella stepped away. Bella squatted down and shot back up into a standing form and started singing "Oompa Loompa, Ooompity doo, have I got a perfect puzzle for youu."

I tried to run forward to grab her but Emmett got there first. I didn't mind, I wasn't sure how I would handle it if she…grabbed me again. But wait, her grabbing Emmett would be worse! But she'd never do that…would she?

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle and I stood around them as a protective barrier. Emmett looked a bit miffed because she was almost out of his control. "RAPE, RAPE." Bella called out, squirming in his grasp.

Somehow, Bella managed to get on top of Emmett's head, curled up, like a raccoon hat. "I have a hat fetish. I am now a hat. I must summon my fellow hats. Hat, hat, hat, hatty hat hat. Hattutuah, HAT." All the while Emmett was spinning around and clawing at Bella because he couldn't see as her hands were wrapped around his face. Our little circle of vampires had to shift a lot to keep Emmett from bashing into us. "Come to me my hatties!" Bella cackled. Yes, she cackled. "We must join together and wipe out the Shoes." She said as she removed one hand from Emmett's face, allowing him to see with one eye, and raised it enthusiastically into the air.

She then uncurled herself and jumped up to a standing position on Emmett's shoulders. He had stilled now and moved his hands to hold her feet there so she wouldn't fall. Bella had other ideas in that chaotic mind of hers.

She crouched down then jumped out at Carlisle. Emmett's hands were still holding onto her feet so when she jumped onto Carlisle, Emmett was pulled and the two bashed into each other; creating a thunderous bang. "I Am The Rain Maker!" Bella yelled. As she wobbled atop Carlisle, but balancing very well considering he had almost fallen. I was instantly under her, ready to catch her. I couldn't grab her because if I took her ankles then she'd fall backwards and I couldn't reach any higher because Carlisle was too tall.

Alice's Point Of View:

Bella was crazy. And how did she just appear in the living room? And cartwheel down the stairs, and on the roof, and now on shoulders!

Edward was almost as hilarious as Bella. When she jumped onto Carlisle's shoulders he followed her, and was flinching so he was under her every time she wobbled. He also had a mix between horror and concentration which had me doubling over laughing. Everyone else was scattered around the room watching and ready to intervene should Bella fall and the rare chance that Edward miss her.

Bella crouched like she had done to jump on Carlisle and pushed off, causing him to sink slightly. She landed on Esme shoulders next, who had her arms in the air ready to catch her. I found it odd that I hadn't had any visions of this at all, because it certainly had a huge impact on us.

Bella then jumped onto Jasper, and then Rosalie and back to Emmett and Esme again. She put her hand in the air and flicked her wrist down while standing on the tippy toes. "I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, there they are a standin' in a row." She started to sing as she hopped from shoulders to shoulders. She landed on mine and then stepped onto my head like stairs. She proceeded to jump on everyone's head on her tippy toes. She looked like some faerie. When she was heading to Rosalie she gasped and screamed, "NO! Not my hair!" She dodged Bella's 'attack'.

Bella landed lightly on the floor and turned to glare at Rosalie, who was glaring back. They were in a very heated staring contest when Bella put her hands in the air and made them into fists at chest height. She started moving them in circles and moving her hips with them, not breaking away from Rosalie's glare (it may not sound terribly funny but when you do it, it makes the most hilarious dance ever). Rosalie's lip twitched and she laughed, closing her eyes momentarily.

Bella then disregarded her and darted off upstairs. "Someone follow her." Carlisle said. None of us moved. "Hurry up or she may get herself injured." Edward was at the top of the stairs before he finished. We all sighed and relaxed. I couldn't believe this.

"What a bitch." Rosalie said, obviously annoyed she lost to someone on drugs.

"Rose, it's not her fault…" Emmett said.

"Like hell it isn't." She bit back.

I just shook my head and went to sit down on the couch. I could hardly even believe how crazy Bella was acting. It seemed so surreal compared to the normal shy Bella. And I know surreal. I'm a vampire. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Rosalie plopped down on the other seats in the living room; probably thinking the same things as I.

Jasper was the first to break the silence. He had probably gotten over his…whatever we were feeling to this as he had a lot more experience with emotions. You know…being an empath and all. "Wow." He breathed. Okay, so maybe not, but atleast he could speak.

Carlisle was the next. "Yes, well, I should probably get a sample of her blood to see just how much he gave her so we will know close to the time she will sober up."

"HA! You can have fun trying to get her to stay still then." Emmett snorted, having experienced first hand the struggles of Bella.

"Could one of you-" Carlisle started, looking a little scared, but was cut off by a loud bang from upstairs.

"BELLA! Hands off!" We heard Edward scream; he sounded like a child being groped.

"I want to squish the giant cherries." Bella whined back to him.

We sat in silence, listening to Edward struggle to keep his 'cherries' intact. After a few long moments we burst out laughing. Emmett fell on the ground and was on his knees. Even Esme was giggling, though trying to hide it.

"Maybe someone should go help him." Jasper said after a few solid minuets of hardxcore laughing.

Everyone fell silent, no one moved, not even Carlisle or Esme. After realizing that no one was willing to help our dear, sweet, brave bother, we started laughing again.

AN: This one is shorter, sorry I just wanted to get it out. They won't be as long as chapter 2 but they will be longer than this one. Just last night I was like, WOAH INSANE CRAZY, because I drank 3 RockStar Energy Drinks and then I got a headache so I took a Tylenol so they like mixed and was like KHJGADHGSFHJSFHJ; my mind was trying to speed up and slow down at the same time. Tell me what you think of this chapter . I got great reviews from my other one. I hope this one is just as good for you! Tell me whether or not to keep going!

Check out my other story! "And They Thought Vampires Ruled" THANKS x3


	4. Second Cherry Attack

Disclaimed: I do not own Twilight or New Moon

AN: The wonderful world of Trippy Bella continues. :)

Chapter 4 –Second Cherry Attack 

Edward's Point Of View 

Oh god. Bella had just tried to squeeze very sensitive parts of me and I, for both our sakes in the future, would like to keep them safe from any harm. When she tried to grab me I jumped back so fast and carelessly, only thinking about getting out of the way, that I crashed through the wall. My butt and back were now stuck in the wall and she was only inches away. Before I could get out she had her hands by my zipper. "BELLA!" I screeched, "Hands off!"

She stopped and looked up, her wrists in my hands, "But I want to squish the giant cherries!" She whined and stomped her foot like a child who was denied a cookie. I used her pause to jump out of my wall chair and towards the door. I heard my family laughing downstairs and I silently damned them all to hell. How could they let me go through this? Not only seeing Bella like this but also that she was trying to touch me and I couldn't respond in anyway accept move her hands away. It was pure torture.

We were in Alice's room and I was glad because now she'd have a wall to fix. I wasn't helping because it wasn't my help. It was hers for not coming to help me. I guarded the door, secretly hoping for Bella to ruin some of her things. It's not like she could really get mad at Bella for doing it either. I guarded the door, leaving the destruction for this room. Bella had already seemingly forgotten about me and was now looking at a very shiny, sequined shirt that actually seemed too big for Alice. She'd gotten into the closet and was pulling things off hangers and rummaging carelessly through drawers of neatly folded and organized clothes. A smile grew on my lips at the thought of Alice's horrified face.

Bella threw the shirt onto the bed halfway across the room and then picked up what looked like matching pants. The shirt was a vibrant hot pink and the pants were white, flashy spandex with huge bellbottomed legs. She threw them onto the bed too and continued going through stuff. After a minute of discarding clothes over the floor of the closet, she held up another outfit. This one had my eyes going wide. It was a skimpy maid's costume. I had never seen this before and I briefly wondered how I hadn't seen it in their thoughts before quickly attempting to wipe my memory clean of all thoughts about it. Bella threw it onto the bed with the flashy outfit and continued looking.

She kept on picking up the most degrading outfits I've ever seen. In the end there was a maid, a nurse, a school girl, a gladiator, a cowboy (with buttless chaps I might add) and the flashy, sequined one. I wondered why Alice had an outfit like that. I was laughing so hard by the end that I heard everyone coming up the stairs. Oh so they don't come when I need help but when there's something entertaining…

Bella was now out of the closet and taking each outfit and setting it out on the floor. She was finished by adding the short nurse skirt right before my family got behind me. I gladly stepped out of the way. Alice and Jasper will suffer!

Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme gasped. Alice and Jasper just looked extremely embarrassed. They started to back away slowly but Bella rushed to them and grabbed their hands, pulling them back in. She looked excited. "FASHION SHOW!" She shouted. After hearing this, Jasper's eyes widened and his mind went into a panicked frenzy. Escape was the only thing on his mind. Bella had other ideas. She just continued to pull them over to the laid out clothes, Jasper struggling like a maniac to let Bella let go. The thought of biting her went through his mind but was quickly dropped when I growled threateningly.

I was a little confused because Alice had four and Jasper only had two. The same thoughts were going through everyone else's mind. Alice and Jasper's mind were too chaotic to read and of course, Bella was still a void to me. Suddenly Bella let go of Jasper and Alice and sped out the door. Much too fast. I turned and was going to chase after but I almost ran right into a stack of chairs from our dining room, Bella underneath them. I stumbled backwards. HOW COULD SHE DO THAT?

She barely paid me any heed and proceeded back into Alice's room. I jumped back up and turned back into the room. Shutting and locking the door behind me. I needed Bella in one room so I could keep an eye on her. By now, Alice had seen the disaster that used to be her closet. She was shaking with rage and glaring at Bella. Though I knew she couldn't actually be so angry, it wasn't really Bella's fault and she knew that.

Jasper was trying to escape again but Bella grabbed his wrists and yanked him back. She set five chairs down in a row with one hand and then bent down to pick up the cowboy, gladiator and sequined outfit. It was that moment that I realized the flashy one wasn't Alice's at all. It was Jaspers. My mouth dropped open, as did Carlisle's, Esme's, Rosalie's and Emmett's. Then we all erupted into laughing fits while Jasper was stuffed into the closet with his outfits. Bella then stopped to smile at our laughing. Alice was standing there uncomfortably, pulling at the hem of her shirt. That was odd because she was never embarrassed; though she did have a good reason.

Bella then grabbed her as well and stuffed her in the closet. She slammed her door closed and yelled, "Get dressed!" She then came and sat in a chair on the end. I sat next to her then Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme.

After a few moments of waiting she became very impatient and got up. "Skinna marinky dinky dink. Skinna marinky do." She said while skipping over to the closet and putting her elbow in her hand and waving her hand around. She was acting crazy but atleast Alice and Jasper will be embarrassed in the process. She lightly tapped on the door.

"What?" Jasper sneered.

"Time for the fashion show grumpy." She laughed at him through the door.

I heard Jasper growl and I was about to back but Bella did. It was very loud and ferocious and I was again amazed that a human did that. The door opened slightly and Jasper stuck his head through. He stuck his tongue out at Bella and she copied him. He then put his thumbs by his ears and waved his fingers around, Bella mimicked him. Bella then walked away from the door, shaking her hips and then stop doing a pose. Jasper came out in the revealing cowboy outfit and did the same. When he was done posing he looked shocked that he'd just done what he did. "DAMMIT!" he yelled.

Bella laughed at him and then went over to the bed. She bent down and reached under to pull out a horse head with a pole sticking out of it. Jasper looked at it in horror as Bella started walking over to him. She held it out infront of him but he just waved his hands infront of him, "No way. No way." Bella did not seem to like this answer. She growled like before and showed her teeth in warning. Jasper looked from the horse to her and snatched it with a sour expression. The four of us were cracking up on the chairs. Jasper turned to us then and stuck out his tongue and cocked his head to the side and twisted his face in a very make-fun of fashion which only made us laugh harder.

Alice then peeked out in her maid outfit and walked out. Bella saw her and smiled and went back to her seat. The two of them walked towards each other and then walked towards us, turned around and ran back into to closet.

"Yes! BELLA YOU ARE THE BEST!" Emmett screeched between his booming laughs.

"AH KNOW!" She screamed back to him and then ran out of the room. Seconds later she came back in the room with Kleenex boxes on her feet. What the? Since when do we even have Kleenex in the house? Rosalie saw her and rolled her eyes. Carlisle and Esme just looked at her oddly while Emmett had a huge smile on. I…I wasn't sure what was showing on my face.

She sat down and yelled back to the closet, "Time to come out."

Alice came out first in her school girl outfit. Jasper followed in the flashy one. Bella sat there and clapped her hands together as they walked down towards us. When they were about to leave she jumped up and started doing the Macarena with them. Alice and Jasper were doing it rather unenthusiastically but Bella didn't seem to notice. She handed a piece of paper she pulled out of her pocket and his eyes widened as he read it. She smiled back to him when he looked at her and nodded her head.

He looked to us and then to Alice as if looking for one of us to save him. When he realized that no one would he started singing. "Cause tonight for the first time at just about half past ten. For the first time in history, its gonna start raining meeeennn. Its raining men. Halleluliah its raining men. Amen." He stopped and looked at Bella frantically.

She nodded with her fingertips together. "That will do Jasper, that will do." She looked a lot like some mafia boss. She then turned to us with an excited smile. "Do you know what this means everyone?" We all shook our heads. "We can now eat kumquats in China!"

"Right Bella." Rosalie mocked and stood up and left.

Jasper and Alice raced back to the closet during her pause and changed back. Emmett followed Rosalie to explain that she shouldn't judge Bella in this state. Carlisle and Esme were still sitting on the chairs with amused/disturbed smiles on.

"HOLY CANOLI!" Bella suddenly shouted and everyone turned to watch her. "ATTACK OF THE FLYING SQUIRRELS!"

At this Carlisle's eyes widened. I turned to him, scared. He always had a fear of flying squirrels. We never figured out why but it's just always been there. He stood up out of his chair, causing it to fall to the ground. He then started to run out of the room screaming "HOLY SHIT! FLYING SQUIRRELS, EVERYONE RUN FOR THEIR LIFE."  
Bella joined him and we listened as they got farther and farther away. Carlisle could handle Bella for now. Right now I wanted a relaxing shower. I did just that.

Carlisle's Point Of View: 

"HOLY CANOLI!" I heard Bella shout. We all turned to her and she continued, "ATTACK OF THE FLYING SQUIRRELS!" My brain went into automatic panic attack as soon as the last two words were out. I jumped up and ran out of the room screaming something along the lines of, "HOLY SHIT! FLYING SQUIRRELS, EVERYONE RUN FOR THEIR LIFE!" As I ran down the stairs I vaguely noticed her joining in my chanting.

When we reached down stairs Emmett and Rosalie looked to us but then turned their attention back to the television. I continued running until me and Bella were outside. I stopped there. Surely they wouldn't have followed us. "Oh My God! There's one in the tree!" Bella shouted. I screamed and ran back inside. Once in there I locked the door and sat in the corner of the kitchen. Bella came up to me and sat infront of me.

"Hey, Carlisle," she said.

"Yes, Bella?" I asked shakily.

"Knock, Knock."

"Who's there?" I asked, humoring her, remembering she was in an even worse situation than me.

"A Flying Squirrel!" She squealed and fell to the floor laughing, as I screamed and ran up to my room.

Alice's Point Of View: 

I heard Carlisle scream twice now so I decided I'd make sure that Bella wasn't doing anything that he couldn't handle. As I went down the stairs I saw him fly past me and into his room. The door slammed and I heard whimpers. My eyes widened and then I remembered that Bella was alone without Carlisle and although she put me through hell I didn't want her to get hurt…by anything but my fist.

When I got into the kitchen I saw her taking out a piece of cheese and putting it in an envelope. She then took a piece of chalk out of her pocket and started squishing it into the counter. Where she got chalk, or even the Kleenex boxes she was wearing as shoes baffled me. She then put the crushed up chalk into a second envelope and took a marker out. She looked at me, narrowed her eyes and hunched over it while writing something, like I was trying to steal answers from a test.

When she was done she picked them up and walked into the living room. I followed close behind her and she then headed for the door. I might need backup so I asked Emmett, "Emmett come watch Bella with me." He looked over his shoulder at her walking for the door and jumped up to my side, probably hoping for a laugh because there was nothing on television.

When we got outside she was waiting in Edward's Volvo passenger seat. I walked up to it and saw the keys sitting on the driver's seat. Edward would never leave them there…Oh well. I got in and started the car, while Emmett climbed in the back. I backed up and out, heading for town because I wasn't sure where she wanted to go. She set the envelopes on the middle cup holder of the car and looked forward.

After a few seconds of driving Emmett tapped my shoulder and pointed down to the center of the car. I looked down to see the chalk envelope with "Your daily dose of anthrax" scrawled across it. My eyes widened as Emmett started to laugh. She's clever. She saw us laughing and snatched up the envelopes while glaring at us.

When we were coming up the first house along the way she reached for the door and opened it. I slammed on the break and she jumped out. I watched as she ran across the road, stuck one of the envelopes in the mailbox then ran back into the car. "DRIVE!" she yelled, like the cops were coming and she'd just murdered someone.

It was 30 seconds until she tried the stunt again. When she was back in the car she turned and smiled at me, "To home!" She said and pointed her finger upwards in the air. She turned around to Emmett and held her hand up, like a high five. When Emmett went to high five it, she pulled it back and slid it across her hair.

I laughed so hard as Emmett's face I was surprised I didn't swerve off the road. He was appalled that he could have been done that to by a high human.

Soon we pulled up at home again and Bella shot out of the car and inside the front door. I let her go because Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper or Edward could get her now. I'd had my share.

Edward's Point Of View: 

I was finishing my shower when I heard the car pull back up. Soon after I heard the door creak open and silent footsteps creep in and the door click shut again. I froze. Who was that? Suddenly the shower curtain was pulled back and there stood Bella with a mischievous grin on. My mouth dropped open as I shot my arms down to cover myself. She looked down and her eyes widened. I was sure that I would have been blushing if I'd have been human.

She looked back up to my face and then down again and then said in a very zombie-esk voice, "Cherries." Her hands shot out like Frankenstein's as she advanced on me. I was half frozen where I was in shock and fear. I regained my composure when I felt hands. "NOT THE CHERRIESSSS!" I gasped, but it was too late.

AN: That's the end of this chapter :). Hope it met your standards. I'll probably have only two more chapters. & if you don't know what anthrax is: it's a poison that used to be sent in the mail to people. If they so much as touch it then it enters your system and you can die. I did that once, it was funny :). It was my neighbor & me & my friend watched them form my window. They like freaked out. It was so funny. Sorry for errors, I did this quickly.

& check out my other story: "And They Thought Vampries Ruled"


	5. Existence Sucks

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon

AN: Okay, about the hat fetish thing in chapter whatever it was, I got that idea from when I was forced to the therapist. My mom thinks I have problems –shifty eyes-. But I haven't been asked back; I think I scared her too much. Anyway, so when I got in there she was like Hello –huge grin as if talking to a mentally challenged person- which is insulting in itself. & I was like "I am the anti-Christ" in a really demonic voice, like from The Omen. And she was like OO uh huh… -writes on clip board-. "So, what have you been up to lately?" She asked while leaning towards me in the chair. I, disliking this lady very much, scooted away as I replied, "Oh, not much, just stealing the anal cherries of my neighborhood dogs and what not." She then scooted away from me, "Oh, that's…interesting." "Yep." "So, do you have any hobbies?" I jumped up and got close to hear head and then whispered, "I have a hat fetish." She backed her head away and looked at my face which was now scrunched up and biting my nails in a very skittish way. And so on. I've never been back there. :)

But that was my plan, soo YAY.

Blah. Back to Trippy Bella!

**Ps.- If you skipped over the AN- DON'T. Its pretty funny; One of my own adventures. x) **

Chapter 5- Existence Sucks 

Emmett's Point Of View: 

We heard Edward screaming upstairs. It was quite entertaining, just imagining the torture he was going through. The rest of my family was seated in the living room again and, like before, no one was willing to help. We all found our brothers (or sons) misery amusing.

"NOT THE CHERRIES!" We heard him scream. We could hear him thrashing in the shower and it only added to the humor that he was infact, naked while Bella was trying to squeeze his balls. Or cherries as she saw them in this state.

I had to hand it to Bella, when she was high she was quite the prankster. "Your daily dose of anthrax". Wow. And I thought she was funny before with her clumsiness.

There was an agonized scream and then all the thrashing ceased. After a few moments of silence from us, so that we could hear what was going on, we heard light footsteps on the stairs. When I turned around on the couch I saw Bella walking down the stairs with two small red objects. My eyes widened for a moment until I remembered that Edwards would be flesh colored. Then I saw that between her two index fingers and thumbs there were actually two small cherries, and she was squishing them.

She looked up when she noticed us halfway down the stairs and smiled. "Cherriesss," she said in a very deep, low and dragged out voice. I cracked a smile and noticed form the corner of my eye that I wasn't the only one. This human is just so god damn funny.

"Well, you know the Zimbabwe man had to go get his lip plate replaced so I had to go help him with that before I hunted down the goobers in your back lawn. I'm sorry for the delay." She had stopped at the bottom of the stairs and was now talking to the banister. My family exchanged looks of what-the-hell while Carlisle slowly got up from where he was sitting and started to walk towards her. Brave, brave soul.

"Bella, I need to take your blood." He said cautiously to her. She was still having a rather strange conversation with the banister but turned her attention to him nonetheless.

"What for?" She asked as she eyed him suspiciously.

"Research." He replied, as to not alarm her with the truth.

"Oh," she replied quietly and looked down at her feet. Suddenly there was a bulge in her pants and it started…wiggling? Carlisle stared down at the squirming lump in Bella's jeans with wide eyes. She started giggling and tried to cover up the bulge with her hands.

The thing had made its way up to the top of her pants and she was not grabbing onto the banister to keep from falling over in laughter. After another moment of struggling a little hand popped out of the top of her pants. It was more like a claw. It was furry and had giant nails. Soon another one of the claws had made its way up and clung to the waistband of her pants. After another moment a tiny fluffy head pushed its way through and Bella looked down at it. The head seemed to be gasping for air and panting as it kept on its struggle to be free. Bella looked back up into Carlisle's shocked eyes and screamed. "FLYING SQUIRREL!"

Oh, no. He screamed a very girlish squeal and ran out of the house. The squirrel finally made its way out of her pants and jumped off her stomach in pursuit of Carlisle. The rest of us were left there wondering how she could have possibly had a squirrel in her pants. Another pondering thought was when Carlisle would get over his flying squirrel fear. It's not like they could actually _harm_ him.

Just then Edward ran down the stairs, hair soaked but fully clothed. Bella heard him and watched him as her and own the stairs with a smile. "Cherry man, cherry man, oh oh oh, cherry man." She chanted as he ran to her.

"Bella, you, you…ahh" He finished, frustrated, but hugging her anyway. He knew it wasn't her fault.

"Edward, you, you…monkey butt muncher." She laughed and hugged him back.

His face made an odd disgusted look at he hugged her but she couldn't see.

"You know cherry man," Bella mused, "You have giant cherries but giant hotdogs DO NOT go with cherries." She exclaimed, sounding exasperated. Jasper snorted and the rest of us started laughing. Edward's expression froze and he yanked away from her. He picked her up by the shoulders and carried her towards us like a contaminated vile because he held her at arms length away from his body.

He set her down on one of the empty couched and plopped down beside her, seeming exhausted. She on the other hand looked like she'd just been electrocuted and the electrons were still creating energy in her body. Her eyes went really wide and she leaned forward, going in a half circle, then back again. Soon she started b-boxing with her mouth and made a rhythm then got into it with her shoulders. We all just gave her odd looks but she continued until she was up on her feet.

She fluffed out the collar of her t-shirt with her hands like a gangster and raised one eyebrow. When no one did anything accept stare at her, she let it go and sat down again. By this time Carlisle had re-entered the room, looking slightly frazzled, and sat down next to Esme. He started shaking and had his eyes wide open like he'd been traumatized. Everyone just looked at him weirdly. God, our family is so messed up.

Suddenly Bella jumped up. Carlisle flinched when she did and watched her with careful eyes. She ignored him though and walked outside.

No one moved. Not even Edward this time, his cherries must have had enough. I laughed at that thought; though he did not seem to find it funny, judging by the glare he gave me. I decided that I might as well follow. Hopefully she wouldn't bother _my_ cherries.

I got up from my seat and everyone lowered their heads in respect, like I was going to fight in a war and most likely die for my country. That scared me a bit but I kept on trudging till I was out the door.

Bella was in the middle of our front lawn and doing random karate kicks and spins to the air. I decided it was safe enough if I kept a close enough distance away from her and then ventured forth. I stopped when I was a few feet away from her and watched. Suddenly she stopped and stood perfectly still. Now this would probably have been my queue to run and get the hell out of there, but I was curious. Her head slowly turned to stare at me, like in those horror movies. It's even freakier in real life.

The next second she was by my side and standing on her tippy toes. "We must continue the training Electric Emmett," She said in a very Kung Foo master voice. Electric Emmett? I liked it.

"What's your name Bella?" I asked.

"Barbaric Bella." She replied with a sweet smile. I almost laughed. Bella is anything but barbaric.

She walked around to right infront of me and then turned to face me. She had a wicked smile on but I wasn't worried because well, I was the vampire here. The only thing I was worried about was squishing her. She bowed forward and then got into an offensive stance. I did the same, humoring her.

She lunged forward and grabbed my hand. I let her; what is she going to possibly do with a grip on my hand? She then swung her arm halfway back then all the way forward, taking me with it. The next moment I was stomach down with a mouthful of grass. What the hell! I'm probably triple her weight. She couldn't…My thought was cut off when I felt someone wit on my back.

I was actually frightened now; she could obviously do more than I thought she could. She couldn't possibly be human with all the things she's done tonight. Barbarian didn't seem so off at the moment. I felt hands grasp my neck and pull me up into a half-nelson, it HURT _(AN: I think that's what that is). _"Mercy!" I said, for the first time in my life. She let go and stood up infront of me and bowed once more.

Just then Jasper came out of the house but stopped in his tracks when he saw our positions. A smile lit up his lips and he slowly started walking towards us once more. "Wow, Emmett, beaten by Bella. Ouch." He taunted.

"Barbaric Bella," I muttered under my breath. By of course he heard me and gave me an odd look. He held out a hand to me and I took it. "Why are you out here? I had it under control." I asked, brushing my pants off.

"Sure looks like you did." I punched his shoulder, meaning for him to shut up about it. "Well, I was out here because Carlisle wanted me to get Bella's blood."

"Why doesn't he take it?"

"He's afraid she'll have another squirrel down her pants or something and everyone else has already _had their turn_." He said in an amused and then annoyed tone. "How did she..?" He started, but I cut him off.

"It's really best not to think about it. It hurts your brain less."

"Yeah, you're probably right." He said and then looked cautiously at Bella. "Will you help me?"

I smiled. "Nope." I probably should. I mean, if they were letting Jasper take her blood when he's the most likely to eat her afterwards then they were desperate. I'd intervene if I had to but I'd rather not get my ass kicked by her again.

He nodded, never taking his eyes off of Bella, and knowing that I was going to say that anyway. I watched as he approached her like a lion stalking his prey, though Bella was watching him in the same way. He got up to her finally and straightened out when she didn't move. "Bella, can I see your arm?" She didn't reply but held out her arm. We were both amazed, staring at the crease of her elbow where it had to be taken. Slowly Jasper moved to grab her arm and stuck the tip of the needle in. Not once did she move as the deep red liquid flowed like a river into the plastic case. I could see Jasper shaking slightly so I got closer.

After a moment and the holder was full he pulled it out and then paused. Knowing he paused because he was thinking about draining her I stepped in. I grabbed Bella by the waist and the needle and ran for the house, leaving Jasper to stand there and get over his thirst before he re-entered.

I got through the door and Carlisle was sitting on the couch, everyone else in various places in the house. I set Bella down and handed him the blood filled needle, trying to control my blood lust myself. He took it and ran upstairs after a scared glance at Bella.

"Well, its just you and me again kiddo." I said to her and went to sit down on the couch. As I sat down a loud and long fart came out from beneath me. My eyes widened and then I saw Bella on the opposite couch, laughing hysterically. I turned my head the other way to see if anyone was there and then I may have even blushed if I could.

Alice's, Esme's, Rosalie's and Edward's heads were all in a row from the kitchen door. All with equally disgusted faces on. I looked back to Bella and growled. She growled back and I recoiled. The heads popped back into the kitchen and I reached under the cushion to find a whoopee cushion. "Dammit Bella." I said, aggravated.

Then I heard Rosalie's voice come from the kitchen, "Sure, Emmett. Blame it on Bella."

I was going to retort but I held my tongue, I didn't want to have Rosalie mad at me.

Existence sucks.

AN: Okay, I don't think this one was as great as the others but no one gave me any ideas and I am starting to run out. So please give me ideas because I had to save some good ones for the last one if no one gives me any. And if I don't get any then the next one will be the last. Thanks. & read my other story if you haven't already :).

Ps- sorry if you've asked me questions and they haven't been answered. It's because the alerts aren't working so I don't know when I get reviews or messages.


	6. WHAT?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon

AN: I'm so sorry it took this long. It's the same explanation as my other story. In short, I was dying.

Chapter 6 –WHAT?!?!

Alice's Point Of View: 

Esme, Rosalie, Edward and I were hiding tin the kitchen, though we'd never admit it. When Carlisle asked one of us to get Bella's blood we darted in here, claiming Bella left the stove on; though why it would take four super-intelligent vampires to do the job, we could not explain.

My poor Jasper was left sitting there, shocked that we'd deserted him so quickly. He's a brave, brave man. As was Emmett, I had to admit. Carlisle couldn't even go near Bella without his ridiculous fear of flying squirrels acting up.

The four of us were standing in the kitchen. Every once in a while shifting farther away from the door; the person closest would shift just enough so that they were the second. Then the new closest would do the same. It was sad, but it was true.

After a few minutes, we heard Emmett and Bella come back in. I could smell the blood in the needle and was utterly shocked to see it a success. Edward was closing his eyes against the smell but I knew he'd be alright. After the James incident he could handle anything. All that blood was crazy and sucking the venom out he could do anything, though he'd never take the chance.

We heard Carlisle running up the stairs, probably scared of Bella standing right there. My father could be so bizarre sometimes. "Well its just you and me kiddo," I heard Emmett say. After a moment there was a very loud and drawn out farting noise which caught us all by surprise. At first I thought it was Bella but that couldn't have come out of her little body.

I slowly walked to the door and poked my head through. I noticed Edward, Esme and Rosalie do the same on top of mine. It was indeed Emmett because I could see Bella on the opposite couch from him and laughing uncontrollably at him. Emmett himself had a horrified expression as he turned his head around. When he saw us there his head snapped back and then we all retracted and started to laugh under our breaths. As scary as Bella was, she was hilarious.

"Dammit, Bella," I heard Emmett say from the living room.

"Sure, Emmett," I heard Rosalie say form my side, "Blame it on Bella."

Edward and I dropped to our knees in laughing fits. Esme, though not on the ground, had her hand over her face to muffle her laughter. I expected Emmett to say something back but nothing came. I decided to congratulate him later.

"Well, as much as I would like to stay and help you take care of…_it_, I am going to have a nice relaxing bath." Rosalie announced, clearly still annoyed at Bella. I just rolled my eyes. It really wasn't Bella's fault. I shouldn't be cowering away from her when she couldn't help it. Besides, its not like I had any fears she could get me with. What could possibly go wrong?

I stepped out into the living room after Rosalie and watched her ascend the stairs.

Bella stood there innocently. I probably would have preferred she had an evil look on her face, because I'd be expecting something. "Alice?"

I watched her carefully as I responded, "Yes?"

"Could you watch my dog for a minute? I need to go do something."

I looked around and saw no dog, plus she didn't have a pet. "What dog, Bella?"

She reached in her pants and pulled out a hot dog, "This one."

Where was she stuffing these things in her pants? Oh...wrong question. X.x

"Bella, that's not really a dog."

"Sure, it is. It's a wiener dog." She smiled so big I couldn't help but sigh and go along with it.

"Fine, Bella. But where are you going?" I didn't want her to be alone.

"Well, you know I was going to go uh…wash my face." She finished with shifty eyes.

Well, Rosalie was upstairs so she could watch her for a while. "Okay." She didn't move. She just stood there, her thumb caressing the hot dog. She kind of looked like those millionaires who sit in their office with a peculiar look, stroking their cats. "Alright, Bella. I said I'd watch your dog."

"Excellent," She said mysteriously. She was so creepy.

She walked forward and held out her hand with the hot dog. I took the hot dog and watched as she ascended the stairs. When she was out of sight and I was alone I looked to the hot dog in my hand. I jumped back; shocked. IT WAS ACTUALLY A MINI WIENER DOG. Jesus. How did she…? -That's been a very repeated, yet inexplicable, question tonight.

Well, now I had a dog to look after. Great. I growled to myself and slightly at Bella though I knew she couldn't hear me. I couldn't do much with a dog in my hands so I sat down on the couch and waited for Bella to be done whatever she was doing. I turned on the television to the Jay Leno Show because it was on late and everything else was porn, sick or just dull. Several times I saw and heard Bella come down the stairs and into the kitchen and then went back up with scissors, then glue, then string. My excuse for myself to not do anything was that I had to look after her dog.

I was sitting there watching the petit dog I'd been dutifully placed to look after when I heard a high-pitched scream. My first thought was concern for Bella's safety and I jumped up, ready to run to her rescue but then I realized it was only Rosalie and plopped back down. Her shriek didn't sound like a nice one but she could take care of herself.

I didn't have much time to relax because the next moment I saw a blur go by and then the door fly off the hinges. I sat there is shock and looked to the stairs when I heard soft footsteps on the stairs. Bella was calmly walking down the stairs with her hands behind her back. Oh no.

Carlisle then came to the door with Rosalie. No, this was not Rosalie, this was Rosalie without hair. I couldn't get my finger around that. Everything was happening so fast I didn't know what to do anymore. I could only sit and watch. Not a second after they came, Edward, Jasper and Emmett came up from behind them and seemed just as shocked as I. Rosalie, there was no possible way to describe her anger now; it was over the top. This one is confusing, too.

"What happened here?" Carlisle asked in general, but mostly at Bella, who had stopped in the middle of the room, hands still behind her back.

She just cocked her head to the side and smiled. Oh no…it pieced together now; when Bella went upstairs with the scissors. She took her hands out from behind her back to reveal a bleach blonde statue, made entirely of hair. Holy freaking robot poop.

"Little squishy squirrel," I heard her say. Followed by a high pitched squeal and then Carlisle was gone. Rosalie screamed so loud next that the whole house shook. Emmett looked at Bella, clearly worried for her safety and rushed Rosalie out quickly, but not before looking weirdly at her head, which I had to laugh at.

After the three had left Bella started skipping around the room and swishing the squirrel up and down like a toy airplane. Edward and Jasper came in and sat down beside me.

"Wow," they said in unison.

I just nodded.

"What's that?" Jasper asked, looking at the dog in my hands.

"Bella's," I replied, holding the thing in my hand.

"Ah, I see."

"Yup."

We sat there in silence until I noticed Bella heading towards the door. All three of us sat there and then to each other. I held my hands up above my head and said, "Hey, I got the dog."

Jasper did the same and said, "Not my girlfriend."

Edward looked to Bella, down at his pants, sighed and ran over to her. He picked her up bridal style and brought her over to the couch. She snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes with a small smile on her face. His face turned from stressed to a true smile as well. Such a sweet moment, even though she still had that squirrel in her hand.

Edward's Point of View. 

She'd settled into my arms and I couldn't help but drop all my stress and melt into the moment. I knew that once this was over it would be alright because I loved her and this moment is what I lived for. I sat down on the couch with her and just held her close, hoping to stay like this until the drug lost its effect.

Of course that couldn't last because I am damned.

After only a few moments she jumped up so quickly I couldn't hold on. She just stood there looking at me and then threw the hair squirrel in my face. After only the split second I couldn't see, she'd disappeared.

"Shit."

Alice and Jasper had gone as well and I felt so helpless there. Helpless because I couldn't help my love. Suddenly I heard a soft voice from across the room. I looked to my right and saw no one but then heard it again and noticed that it was coming form inside the wall.

"Ooo eee oo ah ah, bing bang, walla walla bing bang." The soft voice called. I walked cautiously over to the wall and put my ear to it.

"It was a monster mash. It was a graveyard smash." It said again. It was definitely Bella's. Right now I didn't care if I ruined the whole house; I just wanted to get her. I punched in the wall, and ripped it open. When I could see in I stopped and pushed my head through. It met something squishy and at first I thought it was the insulation but then I realized it was flesh. Panicked I pulled my head back and look to see Bella's breasts and then her appalled face. My eyes widened in shock at where my head had just been.

"STOP! Don't touch me there! This is my private square. R-A-P-E. Get your hands off me!" She yelled while shaking her finger. I hate to admit it, but the only thing I was focused on was south of her lips. The next thing I new something was infront of my face, and blocking the hole I'd made.

"Bella. Bella, honey. Please come out." I asked through the door. I knew she would only come out if she wanted to.

"GHOSTBUSTERS!" I heard a yell from behind me and turned so quickly that I almost tripped over my feet, which is extremely difficult for me to do.

Bella stood there, fully outfitted in a Ghostbusters costume, ghost gun and all. My mind was reeling as she walked up to me. "Excuse me sir, I'll need to ask you to vacate the premises. Dangerous territory, you know." She said in a very business-esk voice. I only stood there. How'd she…

The next moment she was gone again.

"DAMMIT!" I screamed.

The stress was back and I just wanted to crawl in a hole and wait it out, but Bella needed me and I had to stay strong. I took a deep breath and started looking around the house, starting with the kitchen.

Once I walked through the door I stopped in my tracks. There she was with the plastic cheese plastered all over her. When she heard me she looked up and hopped from one foot to the other. Resembling a cheese monster.

"The cheese doesn't wear me. I wear the cheese!" She yelled and then ran awkwardly out of the room, pieces of cheese falling off and revealing parts of skin. I followed her, hoping no one else was brave enough to come, for she would die if anyone were to see her. And it would be my own little secret about in the wall; she wouldn't remember.

I heard feet clambering up the stairs to the third level and down the hall to the room always keeping just around the corners so I couldn't see. I followed as quickly as I could but still I couldn't catch up. I think maybe that batch she took had ability enhancing drugs.

I heard music start to play from inside my room and I opened the door quickly to find a dark room. The music was soft and somehow that only frightened me more. I could see everything in the room faintly but no Bella. Suddenly the door slammed shut behind me and I turned on the spot to see Bella, half the cheese gone, and looking at me with a look I'd seen before. I looked back to the door and heard the latch lock.

Her hands went to my chest and pushed me back and onto the couch. She peeled off a slice of cheese and threw it on my face. I had to stop this or else I will be even more damned. I tried to sit up but her hands went to my chest again and held me in place. I grabbed her wrists to simply remove them but found this task impossible. This was insane. Maybe I am the insane one. Maybe this is all just a-

Bella was starting to remove more cheese and shaking her hips to the music. I just couldn't let it happen like this. So suddenly that she couldn't do anything I was up and out of her grasp. "Isabella, I need you to put some clothes on." I said sternly. I was resorting to anything to get her to get normal again.

She pouted but headed towards the closet. I was so relieved that she'd actually listened to me. Maybe she was finally starting to sober up.

A moment later she came out with my clothes on. I didn't care; they were clothes.

"Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme." I heard Carlisle call frantically. I knew I shouldn't leave Bella but maybe he had the blood test done.

Carlisle's Point Of View:

The information I just found out completely shocked me. I had no words to describe just how deep this shock went.

I had to tell the others. "Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme." I called to them in a normal voice.

Within seconds they were all in my office door, with curious faces on, Rosalie in new hair.

"Carlisle?" Alice asked, cautious.

"I-I just found out something." I sputtered.

"Well spit it out," Rosalie said, aggravated and I noticed with even more shock; short hair. I never though in a million years would she cut her hair.

"You know the blood sample I took from Bella…" I trailed off.

"Yes," Emmett answered for them all.

I took a deep breath. "There was never any drug in her system accept for an Advil."

"So…what does that mean?" Emmett asked, confused.

"No drug has been inducing her behavior. It has been all Bella."

"WHAT!?!?" Edward screamed.

Just in that moment Bella ran by the door in nothing but a tutu. She poked her head in the door and quacked at us and then ran back out and down the hall signing the Ninja Turtles theme song.

AN: & IF YOU DON'T GET THE ENDING-------She's Crazy, in the literal sense. That's the end. Though I think I may do a sequel! I just really wanted the stress of it off because some people were bugging me about it and I felt, oh, so bad. Thank you to all who gave me ideas!

If I didn't get your ideas in I will most likely in the sequel!

But don't be expecting it too soon because I'm starting a new story.

x3


	7. SEQUEL IS READYY!

YAYYYY!

The sequel has started!

Find it under my stories.

It will be named "Trippy Bella: UNLEASHED"

-Go Read :)!


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